Every year I practice restraint when it comes to dealing with my grief. Coping with losing a loved one is never easy, but as the years tick forward, we make it manageable. As we enter new chapters of our lives with the calendar change, we purge, reflect, and plan. I was getting rid of an old luggage set recently. While checking all the pockets before disposing of the two pieces, I found keys to my past.
The keys belong to my mother. It was a set of house keys, old spare car keys, and a shopping points card, amongst other essential ring items. Holding the keys in my hand takes me back to the day-to-day life with my mom as an adult. I’ve kept little odds and ends of my mother’s belongings to keep her at the top of my mind. Yet, when I encounter these things occasionally, they make me sad.
My memories are all that I have of a rock-solid relationship, and I’m thankful for them. Had she lived, my mother would be turning 80 this month. I make it my business to acknowledge my appreciation for the life she lived. Without her sacrifice, I would not be who I am today. The keys to my past empower me in the present as well as in the future.
We must embrace loss and forge a path without those who meant the most to us. I practice speaking of my loved one often, thinking about all the memories, and writing down something meaningful about that relationship. Regarding my mother, I wrote a book about our bond, including our ups, downs, and goodbye.My story is probably no different from others who have loss a parent. Yet, it feels unique because I am drawing from my experience. If you are ever in the mood to glimpse into what my journey through grief looks like, please feel free to pick up a copy of “How I Wish I Had My Mother.”