We all have one. I understand that everyone does not get along well with his or her mother but you only have one so do not take her for granted even if she is not ideal. Of course, if you come from a situation where you were abused by your mother, I understand your plight and I hope that someone else took you under their wing to give you the love that you deserve. Mother’s days was started in the United States in 1914 when Anna Jarvis began campaigning for a day to honor mothers worldwide. It is celebrated in the United States on the second Sunday in May. Other countries followed suit but celebrate it on different dates. Mothers are an intricate part of a child’s upbringing as they have been the chief operating officer in the home for generations. In today’s society, most mothers are not homemakers anymore, they are still chief in charge when it comes to homemaking decisions for the children and the household but they juggle careers as well. Many mothers do not get the credit that they deserve for all that they do. A few of us are lucky enough to get high praise from the children we raise and the men we call mate. Unfortunately, it is not on a regular basis. Henceforth, the holiday for all those called mother. What type of mother did you have?
There are several different types of mothers. The strict no nonsense type, pushover patty type, I own you type, I’m at your service type, a combination of types, and you are an inconvenience to my life type. Now no matter what type of mother that you have, we only get one so respect it. If your mother is not all that you believe she could have been for you, you have to forgive her. It is not for her, it’s actually for you. You want to free yourself of the anger and disdain that you hold for your mother. We all deserve love and affection but it is not always available. Some mothers have a rough life, they just never learn how and others feel like they are entitled to so much more than to be saddled with children so they restrict love and affection as punishment for the choices that they made. Forgive them to set yourself free. I know many men and women who cannot stand to be in a room with their own mother for more than five minutes before their blood is boiling and their mothers can’t understand why and chalk it up to him or her being moody. Time waits for no one, so let it go, clear your mind and move forward because no matter what, the person who gave birth to you will always be your mother. My mother is a combination of a few of the types. I would have to say that she is a cross between strict/no-nonsense and I own you. Yes, she would lay down the law and make sure that you knew she was the sheriff in her one shopping cart with a broken wheel town. As a child, I always felt the love from my mother. She always prepared my favorite meals, took enough interest to know my favorite song so that when they aired on the radio she would call me so that I wouldn’t miss the airplay. I think our relationship was easy. My mother was that way with all of my siblings. Sure she had to work but she made it her busy to understand our personalities and cater to our likes somewhat. She did not have any obvious favorites where any of us will feel shunned. I guess because I had a good relationship with my mother it often bothers me when I see adults who have issues with their moms. I want to pay homage to my mother for all that she has done.
I am writing a book in honor of my mother. There are so many things that we share. But there is so much more that we are not getting the opportunity to share. My mother passed away in 2009 due to illness. In fact, even though I have three siblings who lived in my mother’s home up until her passing, I still needed to quit my job to return home to care for her in her last year. If I had to do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat without question. We did not just have a mother/daughter relationship, she was my good friend. I can’t say best friend but I can say we were beyond good buddies. We vacation together, we gamble together, we discussed relationship problems with each, and she often complained about my younger siblings to me. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t long for her laughter. We use to talk every single day of every week. I thought that we had a full relationship. I mean I felt like we did it all but I was oh so wrong. The better part of me is happening now and she is not here partake and bare witness as I am still discovering who I am and what I bring to the table in terms of parenting my adult children and becoming a grandmother. I have no one to guide me through this weaving road called middle age as I am cresting the hill as we speak. The book will be out in the fall and it is entitled “How I Wish I had my Mother.” I had vendor/book signing event last week and one reader makes a telling statement that resonated with me. Ms. Davis said you really don’t grow up until you reach fifty. I am approaching my grown-up period at breakneck speed. I only wish I had more time with my mother so that she can see how well she raised me and help me when I stumble
In parting, I want to recite the classic Mother originally written one year after the holiday took effect in 1915 by Howard Johnson and Theodore Morse.
M is for the Many things she gave me
O means Only that she’s growing old
T is for the Tears she shed to save me
H is for her Heart of purest gold
E is for the Eyes with love light shining
R means Right and right she’ll always be
Put them all together, they spell mother, a word that means the world to me.
I wish you and yours a happy mother’s day. #MothersDay #Holiday #spreadthelove