The year 2015 was eventful for me in more ways than one. Now I started out thinking that I would recap everything that happened worldwide but most of it was depressing and the good things were far and few in between. I mean there were historical events, horrific events, and I guess it’s how you view the events that you may agree or disagree. With that in mind, I decided the most accurate review that I can give is based on the kind of year that 2015 bestowed upon me. Sure, I had my ups and downs just like the next person but regardless of the hurdle or stumble I am better for the experience. I tend to always look at my glass as half-full, here goes my year in review the unedited version.
In January 2015, I willfully decided to become an author. A full-time writer was my goal, I wanted my own situation and I was willing to give up my life style for it. I wanted to focus on my dream. Now, I am a jump into the deep side of the pool and figure out how to dog paddle once I’m in the water kind of gal. Yes, I gamble, I get that from my mother. I always place my bet not really having done any research on the situation. I just go with my gut. Usually, I make it through and I become well versed. My mother taught me that nothing worth having comes easy and if it does be weary that it will be short lived. You know, half the time I never understood her little quips but I always took them seriously because what if she were right. Many times she was more right than wrong. I had a manuscript that I had been working on for several months not knowing if I would have the dedication to finish. Often times, it seemed like the never ending story. Learning how to tie all the loose ends together was laboring but I made it work. By the end of January, I only had one or two chapters left to wrap it up. We all know that life happens and life kept getting in my way. I had to put my manuscript aside many times before I could sit and concentration on how I wanted the book to end.
In February 2015, my grandchildren were a staple in my daily life. They are young, require supervision, hands on care, and training. I enjoy them a great deal. This dutifulness was getting in the way of my pursuit to becoming an author. It took practically the whole month for me to get into a routine where I could find time to write. By the time I adapted to nap time writing, late night writing and writing while at the park on a tablet, February was nearly about to end. I did get my manuscript finished and all that was left to do was edit, publish, and promote. Again, flying by the seat of my pants, I tried multi-tasking to get everything done. It’s a bit hard juggling toddlers and trying to venture into unknown territory. Since I really wasn’t on anyone’s time schedule, I put my manuscript aside once more and focused on the little people in my life.
In March 2015, I got a much needed break from the grandchildren. It’s not that they don’t need my attention but the parents are deciding to be parents this month so I can have time to myself. I immediately got back to my manuscript to edit. I designed my cover that was awful, created a book trailer that was amateurish to say the less. Hey, I was proud to just get it all accomplished. It was intimidating but I finally got the courage to hit the publish button and with 72 hours I was a published author. “The Confidant Tells” was born. Within 24 hours of publication I had a few friends purchase my book and that made me feel validated. Within seven days, I had a few printed copies arrive so that I could have it for myself and read it. Immediately, I wanted to change a few words and paragraphs around. I saw that I used a few wrong words and wanted to correct it. The beauty of this online publishing thing is that you can go back and update your manuscript as many times as you like. I made some changes. Then I learned how to improve my book cover, I changed the cover to something more pleasing to the eye. In doing research on book trailers, I learned how to improve on mine with the purchase of stock photos and using film editing software. I reissued that as well. My sales were going pretty good for a short time. Who knew that book marketing is something that has to be constant? I didn’t but I do now.
In April 2015, I could now say with authority that I am a published author but royalties are only paid quarterly. I guess I knew that when I read the fine print but I didn’t plan for it. Book marketing is something that needs to be done consistently in order for readers to discover you. These are things that I am learning on my journey to becoming a full-time author. In an effort to create awareness of my ability to tell a story I started a blog space called “Janice’s Take on It.” I did not want to focus on writing or authorship so it is very much a current events and human interest blog site. In the midst of me learning new avenues to promote my book, the grandchildren return in worst condition then when they left. Again, life interrupts my quest to hone my new craft into a well-oiled machine. The training has to start from scratch, the behavior curbing, the getting use to home-cooked meals, and learning to cooperate. Everything creative has to be put on hold. My little people mean the world to me, they teach me lessons in humility, patience, and how important it is to just listen.
In May 2015, there is a pattern of behavior afoot that I didn’t notice before. Twenty questions became a routine and I did not discourage it, I thought it was cute. It quickly became annoying when I realized that I couldn’t stop it. The questions fostered learning, I enjoyed watching the thought process and soon realized that I knew that this just can’t be happening to me. This gave me the idea for my next book. My grandson wanted his father to take him to the zoo to see the animals for his third birthday. His father is my son, the trip is setup for all of us to spend the day at the zoo. Each day one week prior to the event my grandson would wake up and ask about the trip to see the animals. Every day I would have to give the same speech. “Yes, on your birthday, we are all going to see the animals.” “No, not today, it’s not your birthday yet.” It got to the point where I was just as anxious as he was for his birthday to come just so he could stop asking me about it every day. My grandson’s birthday arrives and we take the trip to the zoo. His father, little sister, baby cousin and I went to see the animals. My grandson was very excited. But then as much as he wanted to see the animals, an incident occurred that cured his desire, at the gorilla exhibit even though we were very far away, a gorilla who was sitting in the sun minding his own business looked in his direction, and my grandson ran screaming when he realized that gorilla was real. See when we arrived at the exhibit the gorilla sat motionless so when he turned his head in our direction my newly three-year-old grandson high-tailed it out of there like his hair was on fire. My son had to chase him down, his only message to his father was “daddy, I don’t want to see any more animals.” My son laughed so hard. He had to reason with him to get him to come back. In fact, my grandson needed to be carried for protection. After that exhibit the petting zoo was scratched off the list of things to do that day. As we continued to walk through the zoo, if the exhibit did not have a high fence or glass enclosure then we just skipped it. Oddly enough, when we returned home, we did all the usual birthday stuff for him and that evening after putting all the kiddies to be bed I wrote “Why Grammie, Why?”
In June 2015, I was talking to a buddy of mine about writing the little children’s tale and not having the ability to draw. We talked about what sort of illustrations that I would need to enhance the story. My good friend is an artist by trade so he agreed to help me out and of course, I would give him the credit in the book. Now, I had my story finished but no art work. I wanted to release the book by the end of summer. Unfortunately for me, my buddy is a business owner, although art is his passion, graphic design is his bread and butter. This meant that I would have to wait a while before I could get illustrations done for my book. I never liked being at someone else’s mercy but I didn’t have choice until I did. In the meantime, the nurturing of the grandchildren continue. I spent my days at the park, my evenings daydreaming about other story ideas. Patiently waiting for my friend to send me some sketches for my character. Then one day, the depiction of my grandson came across my email. It was perfect for the cover of the book. I realized then this book would really come to fruition. This is when I was confident enough to put out a book trailer with my grandson as the star. He not only inspired the story but the book centers around him. I finally got into a rhythm of promoting my book. I changed publishing distributors for more exposure. Each month I was learning how to do things a little better. Its hard work but I feel so satisfied when I get some aspect of my publication done.
In July 2015, YouTube is a major learning mechanism for me. I devote at least one hour each day to looking up videos on some piece of marketing or authorship. This is where I learned how to improve my ability to produce a book cover, book trailer and promotion marketing pieces. I finally have a handle on dealing with the grandchildren, writing time and getting the word out about my work. In fact, I learn how to do a quick picture book. This publication was just me trying something out that I learned on YouTube. It’s not my best work but a published work nonetheless. I did some promotion on it but I really don’t give it too much attention. Still waiting on artwork from my buddy, I notice that the timeline that I set is quickly dissipating so I decide to figure out another avenue to get what I need to pull together for “Why Grammie, Why?”
In August 2015, I discover Fiverr.com where I seek out an illustrator. I find a gentleman whose creations are amazing in my opinion. I ask him if he would be willing to help me with my main character, he agrees and I send him a picture of my grandson to make into a cartoon character. He does, I’m thrilled and I hire him to do this character in several poses that I will use in the book. My buddy finally gets back to me with a little free time and I explain that I have gone on to hire an illustrator but he still wants to lend a hand so I have him create the background scenes that will go with the character. In the meanwhile, it is time to get my grandson into some type of schooling situation. I am getting closer to pulling this book together. By mid-August, the bottom falls out in my living situation. My living situation is not conducive to that of someone who writes. My son is in my space, taking over, my grandchildren are practically living with me full-time (supposedly under their father’s care) and I just started writing my first teen series. Too many balls to juggle, I need a retreat but where can I go that they will not follow. I make a conscience decision to give up my place so that I cannot be refuge for anyone. Living like a nomad is not high up on my list but in order to foster my creativity and have peace of mind this is the road that I chose to travel. First stop, I asked my younger sister if I could crash for a while and she welcomed me with open arms giving me my own key to her place within the first few days. I got word back from the both artists and began pulling my book together. I didn’t worry about the grandchildren as they were back in their mother’s possession. I don’t care at this point where my son is because he is an adult and needs to figure out how to stay solvent on his own. Slowly, I regained my tranquility and by the end of August my book was about ready to publish.
In September 2015, the time comes to publish “Why Grammie, Why?” I am so pleased with how it turns out and can’t believe that everything finally came together. The way things were going I did not think it would happen. The grandchildren are calling me every day because they would rather be with me then their mother or other grandmother. I feel bad but I needed the escape. My little book promotion is doing well, people are taking an interest in my little story. This is very satisfying that my efforts are not in vain. Then I tried another publishing avenue when I started a podcast. It was suggested that it would be a vehicle that was an extension of my voice along with added promotional value for my written works. This time, I did some research on podcasting before I started producing the show. It did not seem hard at all so I got the minimal equipment and started my show called “Thoughts in the Car.” Many days when I have so much going on my best place to think clearly is in the car while in traffic. Hence, the concept for the show is born. The show is weekly and I discuss current event topics along with human interest stuff. I was so happy when I got into the iTunes store. I am feeling guilty because my grandchildren pine for my attention. I recognize sometimes you have to be a little bit selfish in order to take care of yourself. You can lose yourself when you spend so much time worrying about the well-being of others. Many times we just have to shut everything and everyone else out just for a short time to catch your breathe. Still working on my teen series at this time as I have a deadline to meet on this next project. I am thinking about going to get the children but now that my living situation is not a permanent thing I don’t want to impose on my sister so I don’t get them even though I miss them terribly. A relative of mine is getting married next month, I’m looking forward to the opportunity to actually have some fun. The last few months have been concentrated on writing, publishing, promoting, and caretaker. I need a weekend away just me so this event is going to be that for me.
In October 2015, I am looking forward to the end of the month for my trip. My teen series is nearly finished and I really like my characters. I developed the teen series because it reminds me of my son and his friends. They are a troubled group. There were problems with my son in his early teens into adulthood. His problems are of his own making because of his personality. I’m afraid his close friends are misfits as well so they mesh well together. They were never apart of the mainstream kids. I went back to my illustrator at Fivver.com to get my characters drawn. Unfortunately, I didn’t give him much to go on. I just told him that I need cartoon teenage boys, closer to 13 than 16. Each boy had to be of a different ethnicity and hopefully what he comes up with will match what I have in my head. I know that it was not a lot to go on but that’s why I like this illustrator because he can give me what I want when I don’t even know exactly what I want. When he delivered the character toons, once again, I was more than pleased. I did not want this teen series to have pictures in it but I wanted the toons for the book trailer so that my characters look as I wanted them too instead of stock photography that reflected features of other people. It is nearly the end of the month, I am finishing up the last two chapters of the first installment in the series. My older son then announces to me that he is going to need me to watch my youngest granddaughter. I agree but it will have to wait until after I return from my relatives wedding. Lo and behold 24 hours before I am to set out on my trip, the transmission starts giving me trouble in the car. The car is slipping out of gear. The vehicle is not moving when prompted to accelerate and this worries me. Now I have to decide whether or not I can afford to rent a vehicle last minute to take the trip. Currently, I am on a meager income so would it be fruitful for me to continue to take the trip or just stay home and save up to fix the vehicle. I need the vehicle as getting around in the metropolis of Atlanta, Georgia is anything but easy without a car. With much regret, I stay home, I’m angry because I was looking forward to this getaway for a few months now. Begrudgingly, I spend that weekend wrapping up the last chapter of the first installment in the teen series.
In November 2015, I have been officially unemployed from the mainstream workforce for an entire year. My teen series is in edit mode and I had the vehicle checked out and the repair is not as damaging to my purse as anticipated. Sure it’s more than I can afford but I work it out so that at least I have reliable transportation. The editing portion for this book took a little more time than I anticipated. Really, I had trouble formatting to the criteria issued by my publishing distributor and it took me a while to figure out what I was doing wrong. I missed my original publishing date by seven days but I met my 120 day timeline for my process. On November 22, 2015, “The Adventures of John, James and Jack: Book One – Humble Beginnings was born. The book really starts out tame as it is only an introduction to my three protagonists. By the time these three get into the swing of high school, things will take many twists and turns. These three have personal issues either born or bread. They feel like the odd man out but in reality everyone at one time or another goes through the doubts, disappointments, and victories as they do. You know how sometimes you feel like when things go wrong, you are the only one that it’s ever happen to where it just might be your turn or day to go through that challenge or disappointment. I like these boys only because they are based on my son and his friends so the frustrations and triumphs are the same that most teens go through. In late November, I am told that my grandchildren are at risk to be put into foster care as their mother goes to jail for something that her current boyfriend has done. This angers me because she put herself in jeopardy thus endangering the children. Some young people today don’t seem to realize that once you bring a child into the world your life is no longer your own. The other grandmother is not interested in raising children so she informs my son that he needs to come and collect his children otherwise she will have no choice but to put them into foster care. Now, I understand the woman’s position but just the thought that my grandchildren would become wards of the state made my blood boil. Currently, I am not in a position to take them, my son is useless, thinking about his own well-being and not that of his children. He wants to do for them when he wants to not as he should do. I swear many days I do not like him as a person. Yes, I raised him and he knows better but he behaves like a stranger to me most days. I have a discussion with my sister and she agrees that I should get the children before it’s too late. I contact the other grandmother and make arrangements to go and collect my grandchildren. Already committed to helping the other son with his daughter, now, once again, I have all three on a daily basis. The grandchildren that I go to collect have little clothing, no documents (birth certificates and social security cards) to be found. Everything has to be ordered for me to be able to get their medical information. It’s a hassle but they are thrilled to be with me and me them. I actually had to start a gofundme.com account in order to get a little help for them to get through while I figure out all the pieces to this puzzle. The mother sits in jail because no one believes she is worth bailing out. Personally, I hope she sits there until I can get fully custody of the children.
In December 2015, I have my two oldest grandchildren full-time and five published works on the market. Christmas is coming and I am taking it one day at time. Once again, I find myself trying to develop a routine so that I have writing time and my schedule goes like this: nap time writing, bed time writing, and early morning writing. I hope to put out three books in 2016. The ups and downs have taken me for a spin a time or two but nonetheless I managed to get things done and make a little money. The children did have a good Christmas this past week despite the circumstances. Sure, I wish things would have gone a bit smoother for me but I’m happy that I made it through. The upcoming year should bring good things for me and mine. At least, that’s what I’m praying for every night. I firmly believe that you are never too old to reinvent yourself and I think that I have accomplished one aspect of my transformation. Oddly enough, writing gives me an outlet from everything else going on in my life. I also believe that reading is an escape so by all means come runaway with me.
This has been my year in review, it might not be glamourous or hold intrigue but it was my year and if you get nothing else out of it understand that perseverance is possible regardless of your situation. You never know how good you have it until you walk mile in someone else’s shoes. Here is hoping that the shoes that you are wearing sparkle in the moonlight and take flight over the hurdles that might come your way.
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